A friend of mine is the CEO of his own small business. We’re not very close friends, but we know each other well enough to have visited each other’s houses for dinner and drinks a few times.
His business is advertising a role which interests me. I have suitable skills for this role but limited experience, so it’s likely to get better candidates than I – at least on paper. It is reporting to one of his subordinates, and I have no idea how much (if any) input my friend might have into the recruiting process.
I would like to apply for this job but I don’t want to cause problems for my friend, nor to have our friendship unduly influence the recruiting process. I have not yet spoken to my friend about it because doing so would certainly result in the latter outcome.
They work in quite a small office. There is a strong chance that, were I to manage to get to the interview stage anonymously, my friend would see me when I arrived. But I also know he’s out of the office a lot.
How should I proceed? I am happy to consider that “not proceeding” may be the best course of action here, especially given that I may well not get the job.
I think you should apply for the role first and decide next steps based on how they take it next. I am assuming your buddy CEO will not screen through online applications and will not know you have applied. So if his team-members decline your online application itself, then there is nothing for youRead more
I think you should apply for the role first and decide next steps based on how they take it next. I am assuming your buddy CEO will not screen through online applications and will not know you have applied.
So if his team-members decline your online application itself, then there is nothing for you to think! If they do call you for an interview, then you know that it is based on your merits and not because of your connections and you can feel good about it.
See lessUnless you desperately need this job, in which case it’s a whole different story. Then saying “please please give me a job, I’m about to lose my house and my children will be starving homeless waifs” etc might be your best bet.
Unless you desperately need this job, in which case it’s a whole different story. Then saying “please please give me a job, I’m about to lose my house and my children will be starving homeless waifs” etc might be your best bet.
See lessBefore going to the interview, you can send a note (I would prefer that over a phone call) that you had applied for this position and you are appearing for the interview. You can express your concern anyway about conflict-of-interest but more likely than not he will understand the situation himselfRead more
Before going to the interview, you can send a note (I would prefer that over a phone call) that you had applied for this position and you are appearing for the interview. You can express your concern anyway about conflict-of-interest but more likely than not he will understand the situation himself and ideally should keep himself out of decision making process.
See lessOf course it will. But that’s not in and of itself a problem.1 You know this person well enough to consider him a friend so it would be very strange not to give him a heads-up, especially because he’s actually the owner and it’s a small business. Just tell him that you saw the ad and think that youRead more
Of course it will. But that’s not in and of itself a problem.1 You know this person well enough to consider him a friend so it would be very strange not to give him a heads-up, especially because he’s actually the owner and it’s a small business. Just tell him that you saw the ad and think that you could potentially be a good candidate, even if you aren’t a perfect match experience-wise. Just be direct, honest and make it easy for him to say no. There are legitimate reasons not to hire friends, even if there are a few levels between you, your friend might simply prefer not to mix business with personal relationships, or they may as you suspect prefer a more experienced profile.
See lessSome good answers here, let me add: I would definitely NOT apply and then try to avoid having your friend see you when you show up for the interview, like trying to schedule an interview when he’s out of town. Surely if you get the job, he’s going to find out sooner or later, and at that point it wiRead more
Some good answers here, let me add:
I would definitely NOT apply and then try to avoid having your friend see you when you show up for the interview, like trying to schedule an interview when he’s out of town. Surely if you get the job, he’s going to find out sooner or later, and at that point it will be far more awkward than it would be if you told him up front.
I’ve had two times I’ve gotten involved in new business start-ups by friends, and both times it ended badly. Not horrible, we were screaming at each other, friendship ruined forever badly, but things didn’t work out, I wanted out of this deal but now it’s awkward badly. Any time something like this comes up, I find myself thinking, If this doesn’t work out for whatever reason, is it going to ruin our friendship? And do I value the job or whatever the deal is more than I value the friendship?
See lessI’ve had two times I’ve gotten involved in new business start-ups by friends, and both times it ended badly. Not horrible, we were screaming at each other, friendship ruined forever badly, but things didn’t work out, I wanted out of this deal but now it’s awkward badly. Any time something like thisRead more
I’ve had two times I’ve gotten involved in new business start-ups by friends, and both times it ended badly. Not horrible, we were screaming at each other, friendship ruined forever badly, but things didn’t work out, I wanted out of this deal but now it’s awkward badly. Any time something like this comes up, I find myself thinking, If this doesn’t work out for whatever reason, is it going to ruin our friendship? And do I value the job or whatever the deal is more than I value the friendship?
I think the best you can do is talk to your friend, tell him you saw the ad, you think you might be qualified, etc, but you realize it could be awkward, what do you think, I really don’t need this job so if you say you think it’s a bad idea it’s not like I’ll be unemployed and living in a cardboard box, etc. As someone else said, I’d try to make it easy for him to say please don’t.
See lessSome good answers here, let me add: I would definitely NOT apply and then try to avoid having your friend see you when you show up for the interview, like trying to schedule an interview when he’s out of town. Surely if you get the job, he’s going to find out sooner or later, and at that point it wiRead more
Some good answers here, let me add:
See lessI would definitely NOT apply and then try to avoid having your friend see you when you show up for the interview, like trying to schedule an interview when he’s out of town. Surely if you get the job, he’s going to find out sooner or later, and at that point it will be far more awkward than it would be if you told him up front.
This is definitely a tricky situation that many people face when a friend is running a small company and a job opportunity arises that overlaps with personal relationships. On one hand, you have a legitimate interest and some relevant skills for the role, and on the other, you want to safeguard yourRead more
This is definitely a tricky situation that many people face when a friend is running a small company and a job opportunity arises that overlaps with personal relationships. On one hand, you have a legitimate interest and some relevant skills for the role, and on the other, you want to safeguard your friendship and ensure the recruitment remains fair and unbiased.
First, it is commendable that you are thinking carefully about the potential repercussions before proceeding impulsively. Applying for a role where a friend is CEO-even if indirectly involved-can complicate things. The risk is twofold: the hiring decision could be perceived as unfair favoritism if you get the job, or, if your application or interview does not go well, it could lead to awkwardness or damage your friendship. The fact the role reports to a subordinate rather than your friend might reduce direct interference, but since it is a small company, complete separation is unlikely.
Considering the comments already received, I would emphasize the importance of transparency-though nuanced. Unlike some advice to avoid telling your friend until after applying or interviewing, I think it’s wise to inform him honestly but without pressure. For example, a brief, non-demanding message acknowledging you saw the role, you believe you have some relevant skills, you’re considering applying, but you respect the business and your friendship and don’t want to make things uncomfortable or influence the process. Something like:
“Hi [Friend], I noticed your company is hiring for [role]. I have some skills that might fit, but I’m aware I lack full experience and that there will be many candidates. I wanted to be upfront because I value our friendship and your business, and I don’t want to put you in an awkward position. If you think this could cause issues, I am happy to step back and not apply. Please let me know your thoughts.”
This approach puts the ball in his court and shows respect and thoughtfulness, highlighting the priority you place on the friendship. It avoids blindsiding him and preserves goodwill.
If he signals he’s comfortable with your application or will recuse himself from the hiring process, then you could apply formally through the advertised channel. If he’s out of the office part of the time, that might help maintain some degree of impartiality. Prepare well for the interview and be ready to perform on merit-this helps justify the hiring choice if you do get offered the job.
If, on the other hand, he expresses concern or discomfort, it’s probably best to respect that and pursue other opportunities. No job is worth a lasting friendship or awkwardness, especially if you don’t absolutely need it.
In conclusion, while it’s understandable to feel hesitant, open communication upfront is often the best way to protect both your friend and yourself. You may discover your friend’s perspective reassures you or points you to a better path forward. And if the outcome is that you don’t apply, you will have made that choice thoughtfully and preserved the relationship.
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